Caroline's Hospital Diary

Day 11 - Gyny Ward (Sunday 17th)

And I'm Feeling Great...

Despite only four hours sleep I woke up feeling good! Laura and Leanne in the beds next to me and opposite were chatting and I joined in and had a cup of coffee. Even before I got up I could really feel the difference, I was going home today.

Shower Time, Yeah Baby!

After a crappy breakfast I decided to really freshen up and have a shower. The hospital was able to supply me with shampoo and shower gel which was handy because I didn't have any of that kind of stuff with me. I was in there for ages - all my skin was rubbing off, yuk! I washed my hair, cleaned my teeth, ditched the stupid bed socks and put on some real clothes. For the first time in ages I didn't look like Elvis!

I went for a nice walk outside then came back and sat in my chair and watched a bit of telly.

Dr Sweat

Around 11am I had a visit from two doctors. One of which was this big sweaty man with a strong accent who said he'd been observing my operations. I told him I wanted to go home and he said that the problem was that the second operation that had been performed on the Monday had been carried out by a surgical team and they would have to check me out and sign me off for release. They said they'd try to get the surgical team round to see me in the afternoon. That brought a smile to my face.

Mask Stays Off

My sats were checked again just before lunch time and I'd had the mask off since 2.30am the night before so we were approaching 12 hours now. 96% again! I even managed to get them to turn off the machine this time. There was no way in hell I was wearing that thing again.

Chinese & Campers

The night before Emma had picked up a chinese on the way home from hospital and eaten it with her mum but she'd saved me some and planned to come and bring it to me for lunch today. My breakfast had truly sucked and all I'd had was a piece of toast. She was late! Typical.

At 2pm I was delighted to see Mel & James who had come to visit me on the way back from a camping trip! Emma followed in with Evan and the much anticipated chinese! Lunch in style, yesss :)

At about 3pm I still hadn't heard from the surgical team so I asked the nurse. I didn't really want to have to ask her because this was the lady who I had been fighting with over the Oxygen mask the day before. I asked her if she's heard from them and she said "Well, there is only one surgical team on over the weekend and if that is not the team that did your operation then they won't discharge you". I told her that I wasn't going to endure another night due to a technicality and said I would discharge myself, and could she ring them anyway.

She came back later saying that the surgeon had just entered theatre and would be unavailable for 4 hours. This pissed me off but what was more annoying is that Emma, Mel & James all thought I should just stay in hospital.

When they left Emma made a very stupid remark "Well, what about your TV card that you haven't used, I must have spent £80 quid on you!". I couldn't believe she said that "Well, I'll just stay here so you can get your fucking money's worth", I replied and stormed off back to the ward and immediately cried. Great, even if I did discharge myself I wasn't going to be wanted at home. What fun it is to be me right now.

She did eventually come back in and apologised and said she didn't really know why she had said that. Mel also came back in to try and comfort me but neither seemed to understand the frustration I was feeling. I knew I was better, I knew I would be more comfortable at home, that I didn't need anymore hospital care and that I definitely would not be able to sleep in the hospital ward.

I was at the end of my tether at this point. I was so angry. I cried for about an hour then I went outside and managed to find a secluded spot to sit and I just stayed there for about half an hour. I didn't want to see anybody or talk to anyone. I finally got back to the ward at 5.40 and just watched some TV until dinner time.

Dr Liar

I was very surprised to see Emma again at 7pm. I had been planning to take a taxi home though I hadn't thought that one through because I had no money and no credit card!

I had been hanging out for this surgical doctor for hours and he never came but the sweaty doctor from earlier came back but he completely denied what he's said in the morning! "You've had major surgery and this is too soon to leave the hospital", he said. Such a blanket statement! What's too soon? I had the operation on Monday and it was now Sunday night, almost a week later. Rarely are you kept in that long and he could see the improvements. He totally denied saying that he'd earlier agreed to letting me go home and said I'd have to wait to see Dr Dimitry (guy in charge) in the morning.

Home Time

I couldn't take it. Nope, no way was I spending another night in there just because it was Sunday and nobody could be arsed to discharge me. I discharged myself and went home.

The End

This is the end of my story but not the end of my journey. As I write this it is currently Wednesday and I have been out of the hospital for three days. At times it's been even more frustrating being at home where Emma and I have been suffering from a communication breakdown. The worst is over now, she no longer has the urge to send me back every five minutes and I'm even sleeping a little better.

This has been the most terrifying, traumatic, painful, emotional and frustrating 11 days of my life. But I also believe that this will now change my life. I never want to go through that again, I need to stay fit and healthy and away from hospitals. I still have to deal with the Endometriosis which is the disease that caused the cysts and that will continue to rampage until my menopause unless I do something to stop it but that's another story...

I want to thank everyone around me for all their love and support over this very difficult time. I'm sorry you all had to go through it. Never again.