Week 1

26th December 2004 - 1st January 2005

Caroline's Entry

Emma and Evan were taken up to the postnatal ward at about 7am and we were all thoroughly exhausted. Her mum and I waited until they were both settled and then went home for some well-earned sleep! The drive home was weird. It was about -3 outside and the car was frozen solid. To me it was the end of a very long night but in reality the day was just starting. As I started to drive the emotion of it all really hit me and I had tears streaming down my face all the way home. I slumped into bed and managed to get about 3 hours sleep...

Going back into hospital that afternoon was equally weird as it felt like the next day. I was so tired that I almost crashed on one of the roundabouts on the way in! I remember thinking to myself that the next time I would see Evan he'd be about twice the age he was when I last saw him! Of course, that's only a few hours but I was worried that he'd have changed completely and I wouldn't recognise him.

My first view of Evan in hospital, just a few hours old

The midwife had phoned me at home just before I left the house saying that Emma had been asking for me so I envisaged walking in to a bedraggled girlfriend and a screaming baby! I was pleasantly surprised to see Emma sitting up in bed with Evan fast asleep and sprawled out before her on the bed. I just had to take a photo and it's one of my favourites of the early ones.

Shortly after getting to the hospital I was faced with my first dirty nappy. You know, I had actually completely forgotten that babies needed nappy changing (doh!) It was pretty mucky (and I took a photo of it too!) but I didn't mind at all, it was actually kinda cute! I felt a bit intimidated though having to change my first nappy in front of the midwife and I also felt very awkward handling him.

The next few hours I remember spending ages just looking at Evan, trying to "learn" his face. By the following day I had also started to learn his voice and if I was out in the corridor I was able to distinguish his cries from that of the other babies.

I was really worried about coming home with Evan because we have three cats and we were quite apprehensive about their behaviour towards him. We anticipated that Treacle would be so scared of this noisy thing that she'd spend 6 months hiding under the bed, Poppy would probably hiss at him lots and Cleo, once she figured that he wasn't edible, would just lose interest. We were right about Cleo but Poppy is quite the opposite. She loves to be around him and when he cries she perks up, walks right over to him and gives him a good sniff. She also guards the door when he's in the bedroom on his own and meows to go in there, little cutie. Treacle is being remarkably brave (she's an incredibly scatty cat!) and she's quite a sight to watch as she tip-paws up to him, has a tentative sniff and then jumps out of her fur and bolts at the slightest sniffle! Anyway there's no hissing so we're pleased.

All the visitors we had in the first week were rather disconcerting. They were mostly Emma's relatives and seeing as Evan isn't biologically related to me I can't help but feeling like a bit of an outsider. I'm hoping that feeling will pass with time. For now I've just been playing host, making everybody cups of tea and letting them pass him around like a new toy.

What a cute footsie!

Our first trip outside of the house was a bit of an adventure! We figured we'd go to Mothercare as that's a nice "safe" environment to take a baby and if he cried it wouldn't be as embarrassing as it would be in the local supermarket. Well, that was the theory anyway. After struggling with the pushchair for ages we finally made it into the shop. Emma had to go off and get measured for a nursing bra so I was left with Evan hanging out in the underwear section! My worst fears were realised when he started to cry, then howl, and finally scream! I picked him up rather awkwardly and tried my best to hide behind the huge disposable knickers! It seemed like an age before Emma came back and I just handed him straight back to her - "your baby!". Naughty I know :-)

Caroline

Emma's Entry

Jump to Caroline's Entry

My recollection of days and times became completely muddled after the birth of Evan. I was wheeled up to the postnatal ward at 7am in the morning and because we then went to bed it actually feels like I was in hospital for a day longer than I actually was. I didn't get much sleep at all and 2 hours later I woke up feeling terrible. My right leg was still completely dead and I couldn't move at all. When Evan started to cry I couldn't tend to him because of my problems with the epidural and I didn't have a nurses buzzer at the bedside either. In a panic I remember asking one of the other patients to press her buzzer for me, we had language difficulties though as she knew very little English. Instead she pressed the emergency alarm and about 10 nurses arrived at our beds less than a minute later. My nurses buzzer was fixed shortly after that incident. That first morning dragged on, I now had Evan in my arms and we just lay on the bed waiting for Caroline to arrive. I waited for as long as I could before requesting assistance from the nurses to help me and my one working leg to the toilet, I was hoping Caroline would have made it in because it would have been more dignifying having her help me. My leg felt strange as the feeling very slowly returned, I could touch my leg and feel the sensation of touch but I couldn't feel it directly underneath my fingertip. I was glad when the full sensations finally returned later on in the evening, I was beginning to wonder if it would ever return!

Emma and Evan, peaceful in hospital

Evan was very quiet in hospital, he hardly ever cried. Caroline looked great with him and she did all the mucky stuff while I just rested and relaxed. I think I only changed the nappies at night time when she wasn't around! The nurses were absolutely fantastic in hospital and it was really nice knowing that there was someone who knew what they were doing on the end of the buzzer. I didn't realise how much I missed them and the security of having them around until we finally went home the following evening. I remember waking up in the middle of the night following Evans birth for a feed and nappy change only to find that Evan's right eye was stuck together (known as sticky eye). I didn't know what to do, I couldn't get him to open it and I panicked. The nurses were great though, they bathed it and showed me what to do if it happened again and I was very glad that they were there.

The hormones definitely play havoc with your system, I found that once we had left the security of the hospital environment and were now at home alone with the task of being parents, things really started to sink in and I did experience the baby blues for several days. I'd walk into a room and Caroline would see me crying and I couldn't tell her why. It's a really strange feeling, the simplest of things can just set you off. I found that the feeling of uncertainty and not knowing if I could cope without the help from the nurses would easily start the tears for me.

I was surprised by the amount of visitors we had, almost everyday we had someone new wanting to see Evan or a delivery at the door with presents for him. It's amazing the effect babies have on people, some of the visitors had never even seen our house and that was 3 years on from when we moved in! Before the birth I speculated on how many visitors we would get because we don't have a very big circle of friends and our families aren't really that close that we see each other often, however I was quietly surprised by the amount of people that did come to welcome Evan into the world.

Emma's Mum with Evan

We still had the visits from the community midwife to make sure that we were coping and recovering well after the birth so it was nice to know that we were only a day or two away from a health professional if we needed some advice. I was expecting Evan to lose a fair amount of weight after the birth and the midwife even told us that if he did then it was nothing to be worried about. To our surprise our little 8lb 10 baby weighed in at 8lb 8 when the midwife weighed him. Her comments following the weighing were "Well we can certainly see that you are not having problems breast feeding!" That's my boy, he certainly likes his food and he is a real guzzler too.

We only had the one scare in the first week, I managed to give Evan a little bit of diarrhea after taking some lactulose to help me go to the toilet for the first time since the birth 3 days previous. The contents of his nappy turned green and stringy one night and I stupidly assumed that that was the Chinese seaweed that I had eaten earlier passing through to him. I can't believe I actually said that at the time and Caroline just laughed at me and posed the question "How can seaweed turn into milk and then somehow turn back into seaweed inside him?". Yes yes, it's the hormones! We actually telephoned NHS Direct that night to see if it was anything to be worried about as we had already had all the varying different coloured poo and was not expecting it to go back to green after the mustard coloured. It wasn't anything to worry about and we were just being typical new first time parents, getting worried over absolutely everything.

Things that I'll never forget about the first week... The few nights that Evan slept really well, being able to just sit on the sofa with him lying beside me looking absolutely adorable. In that first week I felt completely contented just sitting down cuddling him while he slept peacefully in my arms. Enjoy those moments while you can because life finally has to speed up again and get back to normal.

Emma